God is the supreme lover who allures and captivates the heart of the loved one. This can easily be depicted as a mystical calling for the rare few, with nothing of value or worth for the rest of humanity. I suspect that the opposite may be the case. The celibate fulfils a cultural role – perhaps a paradoxical one – exemplifying the ultimacy that is at the heart of all our desiring as a human species. Of course, the vocational motivation may be based on less worthy aspirations, some of which may even be pathological; this is an area for profound and comprehensive discernment.Despite this divine initiative – or perhaps precisely because of it – I wish to suggest that the celibate calling is a highly sexualised one. The celibate may well be the most erotic of all humans, honouring a very ancient understanding of the Divine as a highly eroticised life-force, impregnating the whole of creation. That being the case, two important adjustments need to be made to our thinking. Firstly, God is. I was in a fabulous hotel with a woman who met my every fantasy and dream. She was a combination of everything I’d ever wanted in a woman. She was the woman I’d been looking for my entire life and, if that weren’t enough, she seemingly had the same feelings about me. I had just stepped out of the shower. I walked out of the bathroom, as I was drying off, to see if she was dressed. She was. Dressed to the hilt, on her back, laying sideways on the bed, looking over her head at me with her knees up and her skirt pulled up on her stocking clad thighs. Her arms reached up and I helped her slide toward me until her head was just over the edge of the bed. Her neck was stretched as it arched outward and as I looked down my thoughts were of how beautiful she was and how I hadn’t told her enough, hadn’t really shown my appreciation as I should have, how she deserved more than I had given her. She reached for my legs and pulled me closer until my still slightly wet and now partially aroused.
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